MUD, GLORIOUS MUD - PART 3 - LETTING GO, GETTING OUT, BUILDING MY HOUSE

"We stand on the dusty road of our circumstances, and experience tells us the clouds will roll in soon and we'll be left exhausted, knee deep in the mud.

The humanity of it all is that we will find whatever we are looking for.

Yet, the mercy of God's hand reaches down to shield our hearts from the calculated pain, and offers something better for each of us than we could ever imagine for ourselves."

Trisha Keehn   http://trishakeehn.com/the-outpouring-mercy-in-our-pain/

"The dream" I had so many years ago continued to teach me. It had become a powerful metaphor for me. It still is.  

There were some things in the dream that I still did not understand. I pondered them, asked about them and then in due time received my answers.

The answers, over a long period of time, were the most profound, soul searching and soul changing of all that I would learn from this simple dream. 

The first two lessons from the dream were a foundation and a part of accepting and understanding the next lessons the dream would teach me. These lessons have been the crux of my healing journey. I am very grateful.

A review of the first two lessons follow; their context and meaning can be found in Part 1 and Part 2 posted previously. 

(For parts one and two, click on the following links.  Mud, Glorious Mud - The Dream and Mud, Glorious Mud - Mud That I May See.)

Part 1:  https://mollygracedaniels.blogspot.com/2021/03/mud-glorious-mud-part-one-dream.html

Part 2:  https://mollygracedaniels.blogspot.com/2021/03/mud-glorious-mud-part-two-mud-that-i.html

 

Lesson 1: Mud (trials, weakness, opposition) can be inconvenient, yucky and miserable. It may also be the very thing that saves our lives. Mud can turn us to God. We can be grateful and praise God as we see His hand guiding us, keeping us away from dead ends or destructive paths or steering us toward paths that lead to great opportunity, growth and wisdom.

Lesson 2: As yucky and destructive as mud (opposition) can be, it is not inherently bad. It is rather useful and can be glorious and praise worthy. It is what we do with the mud and how we respond to it that matters. 

Further Lessons ....

LETTING GO:

One thing that bothered me about my dream from the very beginning was the fact that I was so concerned about the bags and “saving our stuff”. I am sooo not a material person. I am not attached to “things”. I tried to figure out what that was about but to no avail. Maybe it was nothing. Just short of six years later, God would instruct me on that.

I was a little too literal when first pondering the meaning of the bags. It was not about material things at all. It was false beliefs, fears, grudges, past hurts, anxieties, traumas and such that I was so concerned about holding on to … though I did not realize I was. In fact, I had let go of many things already ...  or so I thought.

We can carry so much baggage. 

Why was I so concerned about saving this baggage?  Who would want it? It was weighing me down. Keeping me stuck. This would be a whole new look into my soul. The most challenging part of my journey.

At some point during this process of looking into my soul and identifying the baggage and learning to let go, I had an image come to mind. It was much like the one below. 

I was carrying more than was humanly possible. It defied the laws of physics. It was so much that I could not see around it or over it. The bags were of various sizes from very large to relatively small ones. They were different styles and colors.

I noticed that some of the baggage was not even mine. And I noticed some of it was antique baggage; baggage much older than I am. This baggage was passed on to me from other generations and other people. Some I willingly took and some I did not.

Funny thing though, when you are stuck in mud and have your hands full of baggage, it is pretty much impossible to get out. 

I had to get stuck in the mud again to figure that out, only this time I was in the mud deeper than ever.

Another thing that I realized from the dream is that it left off with me still standing in the mud. How did I get out? Or did I? And further more, having found myself in even deeper mud, how do I get out now?

Clearly I had to let go of all of the baggage. And clearly, I needed help to do it.

God has provided numerous people, therapies, medications, knowledge and tools over many years to assist me in letting go of the baggage. It is taking me a long time to do it. It is not as easy as it sounds. Letting go is hard! It takes much patience and diligence. It takes desire, faith and work. It even takes unpleasant experiences. And it takes humility and a willingness to ask for and receive help. It takes surrendering. God's ways are not our ways. 

One by one and in due time I have been letting go of that baggage, feeling freer and lighter than I have felt in years. 

The lessons of letting go are many and valuable. It is a difficult and a beautiful walk. There are gifts hidden in the journey, hidden in plain sight. Oh how I want to share each lesson and each gift that I have found. Those are for other times, each deserving its own time and focus. Truly though, all things can work together for our good. 

GETTING OUT:

As for how you get out of the mud itself, you can try and do it on your own. You might even succeed for a time. But rest assured, you will still be carrying around the mud and baggage with you if you do that. 

The way to get out of the mud and leave it all behind is found in Psalm 40:1-3 which reads, “I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock and established my goings. And He put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.” 

Having waited on the Lord and having remained faithful and diligent, He has brought me forth out of the miry clay, cleansed me and filled me with a song of redeeming love, praise and amazing grace. Only He could have done that. There is only one way and He is it.

BUILDING MY HOUSE:

Inasmuch as mud can be used to destroy, it can be used to build. A short tutorial on bricks may be helpful here…

“A brick is a block or a single unit of a kneaded clay-bearing soil, sand and lime, or concrete material [all various forms of mud], fire hardened or air dried [and] used in masonry construction. … Fired brick are the most numerous type and are laid in courses and numerous patterns known as bonds, collectively known as brickwork, and may be laid in various kinds of mortar to hold the bricks together to make a durable structure. … Fired brick are one of the longest lasting and strongest building materials sometimes referred to as artificial stone …”  

The mud that was something that once held me bound would be used to build my house, to build me, brick by brick, in courses and patterns, each brick having been formed and then strengthened in the furnace of high heat and held together by the mortar of infinite, redeeming love and amazing grace. The house itself would be built on a foundation of the rock of Jesus Christ.

I am the house, being built in His name and for His glory. A temple of the most High God, a light in the darkness.

In Doctrine and Covenants 109:8 we are commanded “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.”

I am the house.* 

Hope On! Journey On!

Molly Grace Daniels

*What is a house? 

“From the symbolic Hebrew perspective, the “House” has many meanings. The main meaning is that which is within… Some other descriptions are: a sanctuary, a temple or that which is within those places; a family that is housed within four walls; a spirit which is within a body; a place of growth in understanding the many paradoxes of life. It can be the character and well-being of each individual.”

“The Hebrew letter “beis” (bet/beth) is related to bayis, meaning house or home… A home is more than just a shelter from the elements; it is a place where one has the feeling of belonging, an enclosure in which to develop his personality and in which he defines himself emotionally and spiritually.” 

Katie Hansen http://www.gatheringplaceforfamilies.org/