MUD, GLORIOUS MUD
PART 1 – The Dream
I am not a dreamer. But I did have one dream that I remember. It was a simple dream. But do not let the simplicity fool you. It was also profound. At least it holds some profound lessons for me, not just once, but every time God brings it to my memory.
The dream took me back to one of the best times of my life. It was a time when life was particularly exciting. I had developed an insatiable love of learning. I was engaged in pursuing a classical education and enjoying every minute of it. I felt so alive! My primary joy was being a wife and homeschooling mother to my two children with special needs and my quest for learning and self-improvement was a perfect compliment to what I loved doing the most.
In the dream I was with a group of friends that had been on the same quest for learning that I had been. We were traveling in Sharon’s big, white, eleven-passenger van just as we had done so many times as we went to seminars, retreats and book discussions together. Sharon was driving. I do not recall any one else specifically or where we were going in the dream but it reminded me of the times that we all went to the educational and inspiring overnight Mom's Retreats.
We were driving along just as happy as could be when suddenly, for a reason that I do not recall, we went off the side of the road and headed down a steep and rocky hill out of control. We were headed toward a cliff. I had perhaps a moment of fear but I recall mostly having a sense of peace even though our lives were in danger.
The rapid descent down the steep hill toward the cliff was abruptly ended when all of a sudden we hit a huge patch of thick, deep mud that slowed us down and then stopped us. As the van started to sink and settle into the mud, I grabbed for our overnight bags and pillows, passing them forward in an attempt to save our things. I was quite worried about our “things”.
We all made it out of the van, each of us now shin deep and covered with mud - oooey, gooey, yucky mud! Our first reaction was to curse the mud that we were stuck in and that was now covering us. But that did not last long as we soon realized that this inconvenient, dirty, yucky mud had saved our lives! At once we started to shout “hooray” and praise the mud for being there to save us from sure destruction. Then we turned our heads towards the heavens with shouts of thanks and praise to God for giving us mud. How grateful we were for the mud. It saved our lives!
(I had this dream on February 18, 2009. It was significant enough to me at that time that I wrote it down in my journal. I did not know what it meant, if anything at all. It would come to mind now and then and I would read it and I still was not sure if it meant anything. It was strange though how it kept coming to mind for years.
I started my talk-therapy in May 2015 (six years after the dream). During my time in talk-therapy with Ben, I would learn from this single dream on multiple occasions as further answers and insight from the dream came to me. This resulted in three separate writings as I processed and a list of words I studied at the end. Too much for a single blog post, I share only the first part that carried me for a long time. ... Oh, and can you guess what my favorite flower is?)
The dream seems to have been prompted by a reunion with these dear friends from long ago. How good it had been to see them just two days before and to catch up on years gone by as we all had gone our separate ways.
I was particularly looking forward to seeing Sharon. The last time I had seen her I was really quite cranky - in a winter season of life with a cold and bitter heart. I had grown a bit paranoid and a lot cynical from life's experiences with people in particular and my life was not what I planned it to be. I was deeply depressed.
I was now at a good place. I had healed and I wanted so much to let her know that I was no longer bitter, cranky or hard-hearted. I was happy.
It was sooo good to see her! My heart felt after her as she described how her once idyllic life had changed so quickly. It had been hard for her because so much that was happening was contrary to principles that she held dear - such as having to be a working mom instead of at home with her children homeschooling them. She took some comfort in knowing that she was doing God's will and was grateful that he gave her frequent confirmation of it. Still it was hard. It was not what she had planned even though it was the right thing.
She shared her experiences of adopting two children from South America. They had come from an orphanage that Sharon and her husband and seven children had volunteered to serve in for a month about one year prior to the adoption. It was an exciting and noble endeavor that they hoped would complete their family and honor God.
The process did not work out as planned and she explained everything that took place while she was away - even stuck - in South America working through the process to bring her children home. She was there alone while the rest of her family was still at home in the states. She listed problem after problem and trial after trial and shared how this had tested her and how she too dealt with some bitter, angry and lonely times. It was still affecting her. She was still hurting and consequently struggling to now bond with these new children of hers even after nearly a year’s time home. I felt so much empathy for what she had gone through and was going through. I was so sorry for her hardships and disappointments.
1) My cold, bitter heart.
2) Sharon’s pain and hardship.
3) The van stuck in the mud.
They seemed to have something in common.
- They were all the result of unplanned detours that left us stuck.
- I had been stuck in my bitterness.
- Sharon’s hardships left her stuck in her anger and pain.
- The van was stuck in the mud.
- They were inconvenient, miserable and potentially destructive.
- **They all three had turned us to God.** ... First in anger ... Then in praise ...
Could it be that the events that initially resulted in a bitter heart and pain and anger also saved us from sure destruction and death?
Without such trials, would we have just continued on our merry way, never learning, never growing, perhaps forgetting God, perhaps even finding ourselves at a destination that we really did not desire?
Sometimes we encounter mud in life in the form of weakness, opposition and trial; and as inconvenient and yucky as it is, it is the very thing that may save our life – spiritually speaking – so rather than curse the mud, be grateful and praise God for mud, glorious mud!
Hope on! Journey on!
Molly Grace Daniels
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