Hello! Welcome!
My name is Molly Grace Daniels. I am not a blogger. And I never thought that I would be one. Yet here I am. Be patient with me as I start this new endeavor. Technology is awesome! I have a hard time keeping up with it.
I have struggled with mental illness the better part of 50 years. At times I had believed that I beat it and then it came back again. Again I was powerless over it. And discouraged. After so many times and so many years and so much effort, I lost all hope or desire to live. I felt forsaken. I could not do it anymore. Now a safety plan is part of my life. It has saved me many times. Like an inhaler saves an asthmatic patient and is part of their safety plan. In both circumstances we recognize the signs and dangers and take action.
I have been blessed in my life and have had many beautiful experiences. I have many fun memories growing up and have enjoyed much laughter as a child and an adult. I also have spent much of my life surviving rather than living as I struggled mentally and emotionally. So often stigma got in the way; both societal stigma and self stigma. Pride got in the way. Fear got in the way. Faith got in the way. Ignorance got in the way. Lack of access to proper care got in the way. Toxic positivity got in the way. My own thinking got in the way. Abusers and gaslighters got in the way. Lack of boundaries got in the way. Caregiving got in the way. Traumatic experiences got in the way. Unrelenting stress got in the way. I often suffered in silence and alone while pretending I was okay.
Now, much of that is a part of the past. It has been a long and difficult journey to get to where I am. No, I am not healed of it as in “it is gone”. It is something I will always live with, just as some people always live with diabetes. I still have some very difficult days. However, I have found a lot of healing. Sweet, beautiful healing. I have found help. I have found hope. I have found many tools. I have found ways to manage it better and return to balance and stability quicker. I have learned how to live with it and accept it. I have found that resilience is the key and my focus. That awareness and strength are in a sense part of my healing. And as such, I have found more freedom, happiness and a better quality of life. The difference is priceless.
The help and healing I found came from mental health professionals, medications, various interventions, my own intense study, some friends and some family who stood by me and offered love and empathy, from the grace of God and from strangers. These vulnerable strangers shared their journeys and their stories and suddenly I felt like I was truly understood and not alone in my experiences. I found validation. I found hope. I found information that helped me to cope and to find healing. I am grateful for their courage to share.
I continue on the journey of healing. And part of that journey is to give back; to be vulnerable and share some very personal and difficult challenges, some of my thoughts and some of the things that I have learned that have made all of the difference for me.
I am here to help by sharing parts of my story and my journey in hopes of relieving some of the suffering of others. I am here to share what I have learned. I am here to assist in fostering understanding of the realties of mental illness and help others know how to help loved ones and friends, and people they interact with every day. I am here to promote a stigma-free world and to promote good policies in societies and governments. I hope to help others to find validation, to find the help that is out there and offer hope. I am here to be one of the strangers that makes a difference in the life of others, like those who did for me. Consider me a stranger and a friend. I am also here because I have children, family members and friends who struggle mentally and emotionally, some alone and in silence.
There are many things that can influence the state of the brain. As such, there are many things that contribute to our mental health, for good or for bad. We know internal and external environments play a significant role in how the brain develops and functions.The brain is a regulatory organ and affects many systems and hormones in the body. We are blessed to live in a day where we are learning more and more about the brain. We know for instance that trauma literally changes the brain in unfortunate and painful ways. We know that the brain, body and mind are complex and interconnected. They affect each other. There is not a single answer for everyone that struggles mentally or emotionally.
We now know that the brain has neuroplasticity, which means it can change, adapt, rewire and heal! This knowledge has been a game changer. Sometimes the transformation toward healing and positive changes comes through connection, empathy, exercise, medications, therapy, nutrition, meditation, prayer, neurofeedback and other interventions. Many times this is a slow, sometimes painful process that requires patience and hard work. It is very much worth it.
Sometimes it is a new perspective, a simple understanding, a correction of behavior or a remedy that has a relatively quick effect and improves a person’s mental health indefinitely. Some brains respond well to personal development and mindset training; others need more. And that is okay. Each life, each experience, each brain, each mind, and each body are so completely unique. Isn’t that wonderful?! I am me. I do not need to be anyone else. The caveat is that it often comes with the challenge at times to empathize, love, understand and respect each person and each journey.
Each journey is going to be different and cannot be compared. Some will never experience mental and emotional challenges that are often referred to as mental illness. Of those who do, there are some that find the healing comes and the challenges never return. For some they come and go. And for some, they never leave. For them, there is still hope as they learn ways to decrease or manage disruptions to the state of their brains.
I am not an expert. I do not pretend to be. Anything I offer is not intended to give medical or professional advice. I am just a fellow traveler who wishes she knew decades ago what she knows now and is willing to share her journey.
If you have mental or emotional struggles, I encourage you to find a mental health professional to help you on your journey. It may take several tries to find the one that you resonate with and can help you. That is okay. Find your person. He/or she is out there. It may even take a team of people like it does for me. Suicide has increased in alarming rates. Get the help you need. You are needed and wanted. Please stay.
By way of some caution; some of what I share may be heavy. I generally tell it as it is. Much of what I share comes from my experiences, my journals and my processing through writing. Part of my healing came through facing my own darkness and embracing my shadow side. Most of the time I found my way through the darkness into the light of truth and hope through the process of writing in conjunction with therapy and study. So hang on through the heavy parts, it does not stay that way, it is but part of the journey.
My faith has been my anchor. It shows up in much of my writing. You may struggle to reconcile your faith with your struggles like I have. You may have experienced church trauma like I have. You may feel angry or feel abandoned, like I have. You may not share my exact beliefs or faith. That is irrelevant. We need not share the same faith to find common ground, truth and hope. You may define God or your higher power differently than I do. You may not believe in one at all. Still there is always something that can be your anchor. And there we can find our connection and our hope. We can coexist and show respect no matter what our beliefs. I am an LGBTQ+ ally. I believe in inclusion and equity for all. I believe in love for all. I believe in building bridges.
I am an advocate for the marginalized, the misunderstood, the hurt and the shamed. I hope this will be a safe place to come to for information and understanding and acceptance. I always believe as fellow travelers and human beings we have much more in common than we have differences. Unity and diversity are not opposites. Thank goodness for both.
I hope to share often. Self-care will come first. I make no guarantees or commitments in the frequency of my posts. Though I am passionate about this, I am also a bit fragile with my health. I have learned that something is better than nothing. And for too long I did nothing for fear of not doing enough, or being enough. I am enough and I now hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection. This is me.
I encourage you to share this with others. More people are suffering than you know.
Hope on! Journey on!
Molly Grace Daniels
